How To Break Up In 2024

It’s 2014; we live on our smartphones, our relationships are as textual as they are physical, and as impersonal as it sounds, people actually break up over gchat. At this point it’s pretty much a cliché to send a breakup text, and in New York City, where no one has a car and apartments are in short supply, dealing with a breakup is especially hard. Here at MakeSpace, we truly want everyone to find love, but we also know that sometimes it’s just not meant to be. That’s why we’re going to teach you how to transition through a breakup in 2014, using the luxuries afforded by modern technology.

Download DrunkBlocker – There’s a reason why we all love “Marvin’s Room” so much: it’s relatable. Who hasn’t been upset at a significant other and wanted to call up an ex to say that they “could do better.” We all know that these calls never help anything, though, and there’s nothing worse than nursing a hangover while dealing with the embarrassment of last night’s drunk dial. Fortunately, now, there’s an app for that. The free android app DrunkBlocker will force you to take a sobriety test before you can call up your old flame. Drink away your sorrows with peace of mind, knowing you won’t do anything you regret.

Hire A TaskRabbit – When you feel like you’ve had enough, and you just want your boyfriend out of your life forever, you could go the old fashioned route and throw all his stuff out on the street while he’s at work. Or, you could play it cool and let technology deal with him. On TaskRabbit, you can hire a professional to do all your dirty work, whether that means hiring someone to break the news that you’re through (although we suggest handling this like an adult and doing it face to face) or paying somebody a few bucks to take apart all your ex’s Ikea furniture and take it to the curb.

Treat Yourself To A Good Night’s Sleep with Airbnb – If things fall apart and you find yourself in need of a new place to live in a hurry (hey, it happens), Airbnb is here for you. Sure, you could stay on a friend’s couch for a couple weeks, but why strain the friendship and your back when you could rent out an entire apartment for $50 a night? Airbnb has thousands of cheap and awesome apartments around NYC available for short-term rental. Try to enjoy your temporary domicile and turn your breakup into a breakation.

Don’t Make A Scene: MakeSpace – Even if your split is amicable, you may still be too wounded to handle seeing your ex in person. And really, no one wants to go over to their ex’s to pick up their stuff, so schedule an appointment with MakeSpace. Make sure to let us know that this is a special situation and we’ll do everything we can to accommodate your needs. We’ll bring sturdy, plastic bins to your ex’s. Your ex can just pack up your belongings, and we’ll take them to our storage facility. When you find a new permanent living situation and want your stuff back, you won’t have to have any awkward exchanges with your ex. Just call MakeSpace, and we’ll bring your things to your new abode. At the end of a hard breakup, less face-to-face interaction with your ex will help you move on.